I Love You, Lord

Posted: August 25, 2020 in Meditations

“I love the Lord, for he heard my voice: he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.”

Psalms 116:1,2

“I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer: my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”

Psalms 18:12

“I love you, Lord.” Read those words again aloud, make them your own. What does that simple phrase of adoration mean to you? Each of us carries a unique story, it continues to unfold in time. What role has God played in your story? David’s story often placed him squarely in the face of death. David cries out to God to deliver him in Psalms 18 and 116. The terrors of life drove David into the arms of Almighty God.

Nine years ago I laid in a bed, a ceiling fan pushed air in the silence of my bedroom. Life ebbed within, I was dying. I felt no fear, no anger, no resignation. Six years of struggle refined me, now a simple man with a simple life confined to the walls of my simple home. I sang the words to a simple chorus, “If I live, well, praise the Lord. If I die, well, praise the Lord. If I live or die, my only cry will be, Jesus in me, praise the Lord.” I looked through that ceiling, through the roof of my home, beyond the heavens to the ethereal other, heaven. “I love you, Lord.” It wasn’t like this when I fell 26 feet off a roof gable and landed on the back of my head. A funny thing happens when when the life you’ve made gets snatched from you. You find out where your identity rests. My identity wasn’t in Christ, it was in my work. God, family, others all revolved around my creative impulses. Sad, tragic, I’m embarrassed at my stupidity when I think about it.

How did I go from a “working man” to a “devoted lover of God”? My misery, my desperation, my spiritual nakedness drove me into the arms of God. Suffering holds no glamour, no glory, but it houses meaning as poignant as any ethereal event. No matter where, no matter what, God is there, God knows, God waits. Life happens to us all. In my struggle, I read, I prayed. My health worsened but my heart warmed, even as the cords of death entangled me. I rekindled my love for the Almighty in his presence. “He is my rock, my fortress, my deliverer.” Death does not have the final say. I belong to God. I grew to appreciate three great truths. One, as long as I have breath, I have purpose. Two, God majors in the reweaving of my life. Three, no matter how I am compromised in the eyes of man, I am never compromised in the eyes of God.

Nine years have passed since he raised me up out of that bed. My heart yearns for his presence. Each moment is a gift. An old hymn speaks more eloquently than I do.

More about Jesus would I know                                                                                                          More of his grace to others show                                                                                                         More of his saving fullness see                                                                                                           More of his love who died for me

“I love you, Lord.” In the end, Christ is all that matters.

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